How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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