Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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