it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Just cropdusted the office
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
