She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize