benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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