she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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