haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
