It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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