i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
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