can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
