He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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