Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Randomize
