she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
