Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
