did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
