Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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