I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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