Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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