My nipple is on Facebook.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
