Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
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