My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
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