so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Randomize
