Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
