I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.