John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
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I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
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I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins