do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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