whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
did you just send me my own nude
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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