Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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