I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
