I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Randomize
