I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Is this like a preordered booty call?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
