im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
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