sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Randomize
