well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
