Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize