just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
