Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
