i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
