four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
