At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
My balls are so social today.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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