I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
