If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
