hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
