I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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