My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
