I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
