how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
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