I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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