I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
