I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
