got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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