Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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