This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
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Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
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And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...