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i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
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