I wish my penis had an off switch
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
His hands were made for my vagina.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.