Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(718): View more from New York

i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite

(917): View more from New York City

get a pic

(718): View more from New York

i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that

(917): View more from New York City

i want ur life

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(718): i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite (917): get a pic (718): i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that (917): i want ur life http://tfl.nu/sg3n

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(719): View more from Colorado

new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge

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(719): new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge http://tfl.nu/dui0

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(310): View more from California

Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.

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(310): Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1. http://tfl.nu/ep6p

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(757): View more from Virginia

I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.

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(757): I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton. http://tfl.nu/4m44

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(217): View more from Illinois

he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.

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(217): he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit. http://tfl.nu/3nc6

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(601): View more from Mississippi

Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"

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(601): Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing" http://tfl.nu/jpe9

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(503): View more from Oregon

I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it

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(503): I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it http://tfl.nu/jqdj

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(630): View more from Illinois

Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.

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(630): Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila. http://tfl.nu/cfz3

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first

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(401): I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first http://tfl.nu/owtg

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(703): View more from Virginia

he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh

(1-703): View more from Virginia

be sure to add "office slut" to your resume

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(703): he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh (1-703): be sure to add "office slut" to your resume http://tfl.nu/3kje

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(509): View more from Washington

We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.

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(509): We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade. http://tfl.nu/xjtk

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(214): View more from Texas

i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.

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(214): i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing. http://tfl.nu/q1z1

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(714): View more from California

Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?

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(714): Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ? http://tfl.nu/wlh8

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(514): View more from Quebec

It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary

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(514): It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary http://tfl.nu/a9h3

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(309): View more from Illinois

Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures

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(309): Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures http://tfl.nu/7kml

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