K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.