Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
