Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I've blown a few things in my day
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
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