At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
