i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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