You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
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i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
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We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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