windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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