I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
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