Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
how do flat chested girls get laid?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
