While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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