i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
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