is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
