There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
