There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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