so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
