He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
