Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Is it penis luge time yet?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
