The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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