i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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