If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
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I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
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He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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