It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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