I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
